Drugs or Shrugs...

Having been delivered from over 15 years of long-term opiate therapy, I believe I’m supposed to share some things about my experience. First, I give God all the Glory, Honor and Praise for preserving my life and delivering me from Bondage to these drugs and doctors 2½ years ago.

In my early thirties, I became a Born-again Christian and my life was content and I was blessed to be a stay-at-home mom to two young children. I began to have constant pain in my back from a birth injury and I eventually sought help from a “spine specialist” at a fancy spine clinic, he was actually an Anesthesiologist. I had no idea that Pain Management had morphed into a big retail operation during my stay-at-home years.

As a student in the 80’s I had worked in retail pharmacy, before the explosion of opiates and Pain Management. The little storage area we had for controlled drugs or narcotics was very small and we hardly ever dispensed any drugs from it. Even later as a technician in different institutional settings, I witnessed minimal and appropriate narcotic use. I performed the billing, invoicing, and generally supported the pharmacists in all of their duties so I was familiar with which drugs were being used frequently. I was proud to be a healthcare worker and I had Faith that the system was working to help people. That experience gave me a unique view of the ordeal from hindsight.

I was out of the work force for about ten years while raising my children when I sought help for constant pain so I wasn’t expecting long-term opiate use as a solution but that is exactly what was offered as a viable alternative to postpone back surgery. Looking back, I realize the recommendation by a physician that I needed the strongest drugs available for my pain just reinforced my belief that the pain I was experiencing was unbearable! Rather than demystifying my suffering to decrease the stress of it all and help me to heal, the introduction of long-acting opiates into my care raised my fear of pain to extreme levels. I became so afraid of experiencing the inevitable increases in pain because I was already taking the strongest thing available! I worried that perhaps there was something else causing the pain. I became fearful, isolated, and consumed with myself and my own suffering. My acceptance and submission to the “experts” that I needed the strongest level of pain medication actually caused me to give all of my power away and I became a victim. The use of Long-acting opiates long-term eventually damaged my perception of pain and they reinforced the negative effects of chronic pain and prevented me from having full access to my Faith in God and His healing power.

I was prescribed fentanyl patches early on and many other opiates for breakthrough pain over the years. I actually thought patches would be safer than pills since I had young children in the home. I didn’t know about breakthrough pain but that “thought bubble” just increased my obsession with pain and my own suffering. Pain became the overwhelming force in my life and the more medication I took, the less I was able to participate in my own healing and rely on my faith. I was prescribed benzodiazepines, antidepressants, muscle relaxers, Gabapentin, you name it! I was a true believer in the power of medication! I had misplaced my trust in a healthcare system that had been corrupted by greed. I take responsibility for continuing to seek help for my chronic pain and for continuing to take drugs that were prescribed for me, despite the fact that they did not help me. I was in a fog of delusion.

In my experience, the worst part of chronic pain is the ever-present nature of it. Over time it wears you down and makes it hard to just exist and breathe. Opiates are the best medicine for acute pain and suffering but they are NOT appropriate for long-term chronic pain and they actually make it harder to cope with sustained suffering, in my experience. They do work great for a time though; long enough to deceive you into thinking you need them. I became confused and I often suffered memory loss which caused a lot of mistakes, especially when combined with the effects of the other prescription drugs. I remember looking down the “barrel of the bottle of pills” and wondering when I took my last dose because I was still in so much pain! I became sloppy.

Within a few years of beginning long-term opiate therapy, my children came home from school one day and found me unresponsive in my bed. I went from their active mom to a drug addled replacement just trying to survive the effects of pain and the drugs that I was taking. I had mistakenly taken several long-acting opiates at the same time instead of several laxatives. I was too confused and over-medicated for too long to properly manage the consumption of so many different, powerful drugs while experiencing the side-effects of them. I can see that now. My bowels emptied at some point and I woke up in an ICU bed at a big hospital. I had only four respirations per minute in the ambulance ride to the original hospital. There is no telling how many hours I was deprived of enough oxygen. It could have been all day. And now I have damage to my brain... The combination of all the side-effects was debilitating and I lost myself through it all. I could have easily lost everything if my husband had not been supportive of me. I was living in a fog and my children became like blurry objects I had to try and keep from running into to protect them. They have little memory of the good years prior to all of this.

The use of a pill minder finally helped me to keep better track of my medication intake. It was a slow process of changing my habits, keeping the bulk of my medications locked up and only taking what was in the pill minder. Due to that experience, I believe that patient-friendly Unit-Dose packaging, similar to Accutane would help reduce misuse. Patient compliance is known to improve with special packaging, such as birth control pills and Accutane. For instance, if narcotics were dispensed on a card of ten pills where the patient could easily “see” when they took their last dose it would decrease mistakes and make it more difficult to divert. It would also make is easier to inventory. This visual cue would have prevented my overdose and other episodes of unconsciousness. Extra storage space in pharmacies should not be a concern as the goal should be to get people healthy and off of drugs, not just to put them on new and different drugs.

Just prior to weaning myself off of opiates, a new doctor at the clinic I used terribly mistreated me. At my first appointment with him, he said I needed five procedures on my back based on a four-year old MRI report. I did not even complain of increased pain and I had given him a copy of goals and objectives I wrote for myself to help me get off of opiates. He didn’t care and just wanted to do the procedures and continue the opiates! When I stated that I didn’t want any more procedures and I wanted to do my goals and objectives, he got mad and made me leave with a release! It was the most bizarre experience I’ve ever had with a professional. When a doctor releases a patient irresponsibly like this, it can lead to illegal drug use if no other alternatives are available or affordable. Fortunately, it was a Blessing in disguise for me because I chose to fully rely on God and He gave me the grace to be delivered. He empowered me to wean myself off of opiates, with His provision.

After emerging from the fog and going through a Spiritual Transformation over many months God gave me a glimpse of what He wants me to do with the time given me through His Grace. I gave up my fear of pain and immersed myself in my own healing. He gave me the Desire to cherish the flesh He gave me to experience life in and to treat it with the same care as His Spirit that lives within me. As I healed, I went to physical therapy for many months and carefully began living differently. Therapy gets very expensive, quick. The Lord has given me the desire to shine a light upon the plight chronic pain patients who need long-term therapeutic supports and local, affordable, non-pharmaceutical alternative options in rural areas to help maintain the mental and physical ability to heal and adapt without opiates. Sitting in a doctor’s office far from home is not the best solution and it just makes pain worse!

There needs to be an effort to recognize that just because a patient doesn’t end up in the criminal justice system because of taking opiates, it doesn’t mean that everything is great and there is no problem with the long-term side-effects of taking them. For example, I will always suffer gastrointestinal problems and memory loss from opiate use.

Remember:

The criminal justice system is critical to helping people trapped in the use of illegal drugs.

The healthcare system is critical to prevent new victims of the opiate crisis by offering local, affordable alternatives to pharmaceuticals for chronic pain and Recovery.

Faith in God is critical to all healing.

Opiate Task Forces recommend some of the options I am advocating to be made more available in rural community health systems. An integrated health approach is needed in rural areas sooner rather than later because we already have very limited resources and options. Alternative options should be affordable and available in rural health systems for future plans. People in chronic pain tend to isolate and have fear of hurting themselves worse .Connecting with other people is critical to overcoming the isolation of chronic pain. Zoom doesn’t cut it.

The following recommendations are from an article in Practical Pain Management outlining some recommendations made by the HHS Task Force:

• “Restorative movement therapies. Physical and occupational therapy, massage therapy, aqua therapy

• Interventional procedures. Different types of minimally invasive procedures can be important for both acute and chronic pain

• Complementary and integrative health. Acupuncture, yoga, tai chi, meditation

• Behavioral health/psychological interventions. Coping skills, cognitive behavioral therapy

• The consideration of acupuncture, mindfulness, movement therapy, art therapy, massage therapy, manipulative therapy, yoga, and Tai Chi as non-opioid treatment options.”*

*HHS Inter-Agency Task Force Urges New Ways to Limit Opioid Use and Addiction, practicalpainmanagement.com

If alternative options were affordable and offered locally, patients could be directed to healthier ways of managing chronic pain/illness to avoid the need for so many drugs in the first place. People in acute pain should not have to go without relief and those with chronic pain should have local affordable and accessible, alternative options.

I HOPE there can one day be more affordable, alternative treatments for chronic pain in local community health systems so that doctors have something to offer patients besides drugs or shrugs…

There is Hope for people living with chronic pain but it doesn’t come in a bottle. Not everyone is using opiates illegally but the results can still be debilitating to the lives of those using them and their families. I hope and pray that people suffering from pain or addiction will realize there is Hope in Jesus Christ and turn to His Power and Provision for Healing. I am now a Survivor and I claim the Manifested Power of God over my life. clm

MAIN POINTS…

1. Patient friendly, Unit-Dose packaging for narcotics will reduce mistakes and diversion.

2. Heal patient’s fear of pain by demystifying it while treating the underlying causes. Acknowledge the Healing power of Almighty God.

3. Make additional changes to the prescribing guidelines for opiates, especially long-acting opiates, which started the opiate crisis.

4. Fund and create a community health center within rural health systems to provide affordable, local, alternative options for people to have access to step-down facilities, recovery services, and many other integrated health services everyone could use to maintain optimal health and heal from pain.